Fatherhood in an 8pm Warrior World

Unlike my Mother’s Day post, I can talk about Fatherhood with some level of authority.   I understand that there are many different models of parenthood, but these are thoughts from my perspective as an 8pm Warrior with a wife who works from home.

Fatherhood is tough for me.

I think Fathers in my situation have an impossible mission to be role models in a modern world and have their young children understand or love them equally. Maybe that will change with time (my kids are 2 and 4), but it’s something I think about often and I wanted to see what other 8pm Warriors thought about it.

Here are my options:

  1. Do my best, push my limits, and make a difference in the world (8pm Warrior option)
  2. Get a typical 9 to 5 job and have more time to focus on my family

Either way I feel like I lose.

If I choose the second option, there isn’t much to take my attention away from family on weekends or evenings.  Sounds good, but my problem is that I don’t think I’d be doing my best.  I’ve got a ton of energy and ideas, so doing less than my best doesn’t seem like a way to set an example for my children.  Furthermore, in this era I’m not sure a 9 to 5 job would be a secure position. If you want to be secure, you’ve got to be irreplaceable.

That’s hard to do if you ignore your work on evenings and weekends.

That’s why I chose the first option.   Consequently, I see my children for 15 minutes in the morning and 90 minutes in the evenings before they go to bed at 8pm.  I’m with them on most weekends, but I’m distracted many times.  Yes, I do take vacations, but in the past they were often combined with light work such as the Clear Medical Solutions annual company cruise and other events where I was speaking.

Consequently, my kids prefer my wife in nearly every situation.

If they’re hurting, hungry, sad, tired, or just want a hug they always choose my wife over me when given the choice.   In some situations, I’m not even an option.

Luckily, my wife is an amazing mother and I’m confident that my children are growing up to be warriors in whatever field they choose.  So maybe I just need to stop whining and be thankful.

What’s your take?

Have a great night!


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