The Secret Way Leaders Make People Disappear

Many leaders are finding themselves developing a new skill set.

They’ve become magicians.

Like the movie “The Prestige”, they’ve become very good at making people disappear. In some cases, they don’t even know how they’re doing it and are confused when it happens.

Even though it’s against the strict “Magicians Code”, I’m going to let you in on the secret.  Maybe you can learn something from it.

It’s really easy to make people disappear.

 

Just ignore them!

  • Clients getting annoying? Ignore their needs.
  • Talented team members monopolizing your schedule? Close your door and don’t return emails.
  • Friends or family taking up too much time? Stop talking to them.
  • Annoyed with pesky investors? Don’t share information with them.

It works for social media connections, mentors, and significant others too.  Almost everything will disappear eventually if you ignore it long enough.

That’s probably not something you should ignore.

Have a good night,

Aaron@Biebert

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Published by Aaron Biebert

I'm a director, film/video exec producer, leader & 8pm Warrior. I am passionately chasing my goals at all times. I'm listening. Let's talk!

17 comments on “The Secret Way Leaders Make People Disappear”

  1. Very profound, Aaron!!  I really love this post.  You are ABSOLUTELY right…we can make people disappear in our lives by simply ignoring them.  This transcends even the business world…it is true in every facet of our lives.  The interesting thing about this magic trick is that we can ignore people, make them disappear but….they don’t really go away!  And that is a huge difference. In essence, when we make them disappear, all we are really doing is putting our heads in the virtual sand.  If we wipe the sand out of our eyes and quit trying to perform magic tricks, we may be able to start seeing the value of the people (customers, patients, family, friends, social media) and how we can help each other….not run away from each other.  Thank you so much for sharing your great writing talent and wisdom!
    Claudia

    1. Thanks Claudia for the very very generous words.  I’m glad you got my point.  I was worried that people might take it literally.  (I had at least one angry email subscriber.)

      I can tell you really see the value of people.  I appreciate that about you. 

      Thanks for adding to the discussion.  Makes it all worth it.

      Aaron

  2. Um, have you been lurking through my archives looking for topics? Just kidding (sort of). I am always amazed how many times you and I seem to flow from the same stream of thought.

    Anyway, 

    Well said (as usual).

    1. James, unfortunately, I haven’t been keeping up with my friend’s blogs like I should.  Can you post the link here and I’d love to read the posts you’re referring to.  

      Thanks man!

          1. Haha!  Luckily James is such a good guy that he keeps in touch.  

            Maybe I should start copying and pasting his blog posts into 8pmWarrior.com so we keep in better touch.  ;-)

    1. Hey Andy, great point!  

      Leaders are all at different levels.  Just because someone leads someone, doesn’t mean they don’t screw up or have a poor strategy.By forgetting about people, I’ve made people disappear during my career when I’m too busy or not focused.  I’m not proud of it, but hopefully by learning from it I can become a better leader.Thanks for the comment.

  3. Boy, this really struck a chord with me, and how I’ve been ignored by someone who simply will not be impressed. I just realized what a complete jerk they are, and it really does make me want to disappear. Eventually, I’m sure I will. But, like you said, people don’t really disappear. They reappear where they will be appreciated…

  4. Is it ever ok to make people disappear on purpose? I know that sounds strange (and creepy), but sometimes there are people who need to discover on their own that the fit isn’t right and perhaps it’s time for them to move on. Is this too passive a way to deal with this issue?

    1. I generally think it’s too passive, but sometimes if they are very very sensitive it might be better to let them think it was their idea to leave…

      I’m not sure.  Great question though.

  5. I’m very tenacious and stubborn when it comes to staying connected to  friends and family. But even I won’t keep coming back for long. I may be slow to get the message…but I DO get it eventually! The sad part is when there’s a legitimate excuse for the disconnect. Then I feel bad.

    1. Betsy, unfortunately, I think that’s one of my weaknesses (not being tenacious or stubborn enough).  I sometimes miss all my old connections…especially when something bad happened and I wrote them off.

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