Say The Words That Choke You Up

Do you hold back the words that choke you up?

When my deepest feelings try to get out, I usually hold back from saying everything in my heart because I’m afraid I’ll lose my composure.  I fear rejection.  Misunderstanding.  Failure.

So I just wait and settle for cheaper, safer words.

I always regret it.

I regret the missed opportunity to form a deeper bond through an inspired toast, special thanks, or the deep words of appreciation that I’m feeling.

It’s even worse when that person then moves, changes, or passes away without hearing the words meant for them. There’s no recycling these thoughts. They need to be shared.

You don’t always get a second chance to tell someone how you truly feel.

Be brave.  Say meaningful things.

Start today.

Have a meaningful night,

Aaron@Biebert

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Published by Aaron Biebert

I'm a director, film/video exec producer, leader & 8pm Warrior. I am passionately chasing my goals at all times. I'm listening. Let's talk!

30 comments on “Say The Words That Choke You Up”

  1. “Be brave. Say meaningful things.” Speak from your heart. From your soul.

    This should be shouted from the rooftops.

    We do not recognize the wisdom and truth in great emotion because we fear it. Because it is overwhelming. Because it is so powerful.

    And that’s a pity. And it is – without a doubt – our loss.

    Big things are happening in you, Aaron. Big things. Celebrate it!

    1. Thanks Stan, you always have such a great way of adding to the discussion. I agree that if we are not brave, and don’t say what needs to be said…it is our loss. It will be our regret.

      Thanks for your thoughts!

  2. “Be brave. Say meaningful things.”
    Seems to be my new motto this past year. Hard but very fulfilling.
    Thanks Aaron. Excellent advice for anyone who has (or hasn’t) figured out that they’re mortal!
    Betsy

  3. Aaron that was very BRAVE of you. Most people dint even have the “courage” to even confess that much. I truly LEARNED that lesson, about four years ago. Life WILL change in the BLINK of an EYE. COUNT ON IT!! If I TRUELY care about someone, or just appreciate them for being in my life, I NOW make sure to tell them EVERY chance I get, because you might NEVER get to see them, EVER, again. It’s the inevitable TRUTH of EVERY human being, eventually. (I’m sorry I’m getting “wordy” but I feel very passionate about this, and want people to LEARN from my mistakes)

    YOU NEVER GET A SECOND CHANCE TO MAKE A LAST IMPRESSION ON SOMEONE!

    1. “You never get a second chance to make a last impression on someone.”

      Christy I love that. In the spirit of the blog, I want you to know that I really appreciate your comments here. You add so much to the discussion and encourage me to think deeper, write better, and work to be the best I can be.

      Thank you.

  4. WAIT a minute…I’m not done (sorry about to get “wordier”)

    If would REALLY like someone to explain WHY it is SO hard, if we TRUELY care about someone or they care about US, to share how we/they FEEL about each other? Isn’t that what love/caring about each other is? Trusting each other enough to share?

    Sorry Aaron, about “hi-jacking” your blog but…it REALLY can HURT deeply when you work SO hard for someone’s ACCEPTANCE, APROVAL, or, dare I say it, LOVE…and they DON’T or WON’T give you those words of approval out of PRIDE or FEAR. It can wreck self esteem, and make us feel unworthy. Is THAT how we want those people to FEEL about themselves?

    Tell someone, or 10 people how you feel about them, TODAY! I’d doesn’t hurt and it only takes a second!! ;~*)

    1. I think it so hard because some people have had bad experiences sharing their deep feelings and they learned not to share like that ever again. I know that in the past I’ve been afraid to lose control of my emotions and something else in my subconscious kept holding me back.

      Maybe it was my manliness, maybe it was fear. I’m still not sure.

      Regardless, I totally agree with you and will be telling 10 people how I feel about them in the next 24 hours. Thanks for the challenge.

      1. It doesn’t have to always even be a GRAND GESTURE…letting people know you care about them.
        Ex: after doing business with some of my customers for 10 years, I have “created” my own family, in them. A select few, I tell them that I love them, others I just stop…take a few minutes (which sometimes turns into an hour) and ask them how they REALLY are…and then I REALLY listen. Lost of people ask us that question, every day, and don’t actually care ;~*(
        REALLY caring when you ask “How have you been” or “What’s new”, even, can show them that you actually CARE about their thoughts and feelings ;~*)
        Care!!! One person at a time…

  5. So true, Aaron. I don’t usually hold back, though. I guess it depends on the person I’m talking to. I have experienced that regret — once — and it still hurts. It involves my dad who is now passed away. I was so very close to him, but feel like I ran out of time. He passed away in 2001. That year I was busy with three very young babies and trying to manage my life in a less-than-ideal marriage. I feel I wasted so many opportunities with him by getting mired down in ME. I’ll never let that happen again.

    1. Samantha, thanks for sharing that story. I think it might take losing someone for most of us to wake up and start really communicating.

      I appreciate you and your comment. Please continue to share. It is truly enriching.

  6. Aaron,
    I’m new to your blog. Your message in this post reminds me of how we bring people closer to us and deepen relationship when we share what’s on our hearts – good or bad. If delivered without judgement or making the person wrong, conversation just blossoms.

    Nicely written. And so glad to see the tweets have been plentiful.
    Shawn

    1. Hey Shawn, thanks for joining the 8pm Warrior crowd here on the blog! I think it’s nice how social media and blogging allows us to share more and deepen relationships, not just online. I like reading the blogs of people I know too.

      Glad you stopped by and thanks for the comment!

  7. Well, I am very happy to have connected with you, Aaron! These are words to live by every single day….I have felt this way for a very long time and I was even more powerfully impacted by them when my Dad passed away…I realized that people respectfully give their condolences and share meaningful stories about people after they have passed away…we should never wait until then…we should share our good thoughts and wonderful memories and stories and feelings with the person while they are here to revel in the good feelings. Thank you for a wonderful post…

    1. Claudia, I’m glad to connect with you too. It’s always comforting to know that I’m not alone in my thoughts and your comments are always enlightening and offer more food for thought.

      As for saying the words now, I couldn’t agree more. Death seems to be the one trigger that reminds people to say it now, not later.

      Thanks for the great discussion!

  8. Hi Aaron

    It is so true you should speak from your heart.
    Tell ever one what you want to because you never
    have that 2nd chance to do so.

    A friend of mine just found that out she thought
    her friend was busy or just ignoring her and instead
    she had passed away. Than to make matters worse
    yesterday was her birthday. my friend has been so sad
    and down. But the good thing is i sent her a message
    and will keep sending them to her till i know she is ok.
    She sent me a saying thank you it meant allot to her that
    i message her.

    So Aaron be different from the rest of the men out there
    and speak from your heart don’t be afraid to speak from your
    heart.

    Have a wonderful day
    Bonnie Squires

    1. Thanks Ryan! Even though I try to say the words I feel, I usually end up holding back still…even when people like you save my butt when the blog crashes. :-)

      Thanks for all your help and know that I am deeply appreciative.

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