It Doesn’t Get Easier

My 87 year-old grandfather wept openly today after my grandmother (his wife of 60 years) was admitted into hospice care.  This is her last week on earth.

“I guess we won’t be playing cards tonight,” he sadly remarked before heading home alone. I shed tears also.  What a sad situation.

It doesn’t seem like life gets easier with age.

As I get older, I seem to lose more people and see more clearly what I’m actually losing. Time goes faster.  My body regenerates slower.

This isn’t getting easier.

Many young people think life will get easier when they get older, make more money, have more experience, know more people, etc.

Not true.

Life only gets harder.

So what’s anyone waiting for? Experience is overrated.  We need more people doing what they love, helping those they love.  Now.

There’s no time like tonight,

Aaron @Biebert

__________________________
Want to get the next update? Get future posts by subscribing to “Thoughts from an 8pm Warrior” via email for free.

Published by Aaron Biebert

I'm a director, film/video exec producer, leader & 8pm Warrior. I am passionately chasing my goals at all times. I'm listening. Let's talk!

13 comments on “It Doesn’t Get Easier”

  1. The reason I think life gets harder as we get older is that we get used to thinking that a thought is an action. We lose spontaneity. When we were little we had a thought and ran out and did it. But we learned to sit still and be careful.But when you learn to be careful about some things, you become careful about most things, even important things.
    Becoming childlike without being childish is a hard goal to attain!
    So sad about the loss for both of your grandparents. That transition is heartbreaking! Record her voice if you haven’t already, if she’s still able.

  2. Dear Aaron,
    I am so sorry for your loss, and I know how you are grieving–wishing you strength and resilience. While we may face more difficulties as we get older, we also have hopefully developed additional skills to help deal with the sadness that comes from loss.

    It’s interesting, I have found that sometimes you and I are on the same wavelength on our blogs without any forethought or advanced knowledge. Just yesterday I published a piece called “resilience” which could easily be the companion to what you have written here.  Its at http://www.carilionclinic.org/blogs/ackerman/2012/06/25/resilience/ if anyone wishes to check it out.

    As one of the comments to my post points out, you learn to live through these periods of loss, you learn to be resilient by giving to others. So I thoroughly endorse your last statement. Get out there. Do what’s important. Help someone else.

    P.S. Welcome back. We missed you.

    1. Alice, first of all, thanks for missing me.  It’s been a crazy crazy last 60 days.  I need to get back here.  I miss everyone.

      Second of all, thanks for sharing the link to your blog.  It is great stuff and I wholeheartedly agree.

      Thanks so much for your kind words and thoughtful nature.  Made me smile.

      1.  One of the nicest things any of my “people” ever said to me was that I “made him smile” I see it as one of the most important things leaders can do. Thanks for being who you are. Your kindness and sensitivity always make ME smile.

  3. Hi Aaron,

    I am sorry for your loss. I was very close with all of my grandparents. My blog is filled with stories about them, including 3 funerals. We buried my “last” grandfather in August of 2011.

    If my grandmother hadn’t died he would still be with us.

    One of the best things that I have done is blog about them. Stories I might have forgotten have been saved and their memories preserved so that my children and whomever comes later will “know” them.

    I don’t know if life gets harder, but it changes. Keep pushing and good things will come from it. That much I know to be true.

    1. Jack, I love when you blog about your family.  You write in such a passionate, real way.  I really enjoy it.

      To be honest, I guess I don’t really know how I’ll feel about life in 30 years.  I might think it was harder, I might think it was just different.

      I can’t wait to find out.Thanks for sharing.  Thanks for being brilliant, as always.

      Aaron

  4. I’ve been there Aaron. My parents both died in the past few years after LOVING each other for 73 years…married for 66. BUT, what does get easier with age is acceptance of life’s ups and downs, letting the small crap go, not giving a hoot what other’s think, no longer caring much for material things, and valuing PEOPLE above all else…

    That ain’t so bad…

  5. Hey Aaron,

    I’ve been quietly following your blog for awhile and appreciate the way you express your thoughts and life with words and clever images, the 8pm warrior name is brilliant! Please continue…

    I’m a 4am warrior myself and routinely read and write from 4 – 8 each day.

    I tweeted your post “Thoughts are not actions” because… it’s timely, relevant and true, just like a decision isn’t real until you’ve taken a new action. 

    If your post influences one person and wakes them from their slumber – brilliant, the world becomes a better place.

    Now for a challenge :)

    It does get easier and it’s getting easier every day. That’s my truth and perspective and here’s my why….

    For 30 years I wrestled with life and it was hard! 

    My innocence was taken at age 7, my first girlfriend girlfriend died from Rocky mountain tick fever, a car full of friends died from a drunken head on collision, a good friend put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger, my 5 year old son died from heart surgery, all of my grandparents, my younger sister from colon cancer, my younger brother from a brain aneurism and I screwed up and destroyed two marriages and created a myriad of tragic and self imposed disasters to numerous to share in your comments section.

    But, one day I met a wise man who asked me to stop, to pause, to look inward, to at least consider the constant through it all – ME.

    Intrigued by his suggestion….. I stopped and I looked and I began to examine, but all I could see was that my life was hell.

    That was 12 years ago, I was 39…

    If you’d like to discover how I escaped hell (hard, tragic, difficult, disastrous) and found my freedom come to my blog where I share my journey from there to easy. :)

    Man’s Man Blog or paste http://lesdossey.com/blog in your browserThanks for letting me challenge you! I’m grateful.P.S. Keep writing and sharing it’s good for the soul.

    Only the Best,
    Les Dossey
    The Man’s Man Coach

    I help professional and executive level men find more significance and success, more happiness and more freedom.

    1. Hi Lee, thanks for the comment.

      I would have to agree with you.  In your situation, it sounds like there was only one way to go from where you were.  Up.Glad to hear that doing something that you love and writing about it.  I’ll have to check that out.
      Thanks!

      Aaron

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.