Do You Miss Social Media Connections When They’re Gone?

I’ve been gone on vacation and then focused on digging out upon my return.  I’ve been “gone”.

As I got back into the stream of emails, tweets, voicemails, messages, updates, check-ins, texts, questions, phone calls, pins, shout outs, uploads, appointments, posts, sharesscores, and more…I realized something.

Someone is missing!


The sad thing was I didn’t know who.  I just knew they were gone.

I wonder if we’re talking to so many people on so many channels that we don’t even know who we’re missing anymore.

Are we forgetting?

  • Clients
  • Family members
  • Friends
  • Mentors

They say the human brain can only maintain an average of 150 weak relationships at a time (Dunbar’s Number), and only 10 strong ones.

You know who was missing?


You forgot me!  Sadly, I also forgot you too.

Isn’t this crazy?

When we are honest, many of us with a modern social network would admit that we forget each other when we’re gone.  Yes, we remember each other right now, of course.  That’s why it’s so important that people, brands, and blogs stay active and “out there”.  That may be the only way we’re unforgettable in the Attention Era.

When we’re gone, we’re most likely forgotten.

Let’s reconnect tonight,


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Published by Aaron Biebert

I'm a director, film/video exec producer, leader & 8pm Warrior. I am passionately chasing my goals at all times. I'm listening. Let's talk!

26 comments on “Do You Miss Social Media Connections When They’re Gone?”

  1. AND… people are very forgiving and quick to welcome you back! Social media seems to be like that for me. I might feel awkward jumping back in after a circumstantial or self-imposed hiatus, but nobody else needs to know that! LOL! My experience? People really have missed me and are glad I’m back, or never realized I was gone…that’s when I either get sad or breath a sigh of relief!

    1. Betsy, people probably miss you more because you’re a very special person.  Most of the great folks I know are part of that 150, however there are others that are on the fringe and they fell off (or more correctly, I fell off).

      Thanks for the comment Betsy.  It’s always great to see a friendly smiling face in the comment box when I wake up.

  2. When I notice that something or someone is missing, I have a tendency to believe that I just haven’t been paying enough attention. That I haven’t been reading my blogs, checking in with Triberr or Facebook or reading my twitter feed enough. If it makes you feel better, I noticed you were missing, and glad to have you back. Vacations are good for your health (although I am not so sure about the work we all have to do to catch up).

    1. Alice, you are very kind and generous.  Your warm “welcome back” Follow Friday tweet was a highlight of my week.  

      It’s hard to forget someone as awesome as you.Thanks for missing me and for the wonderful comment here.

  3. Where did you go, Aaron? To the moon? I am always staying connected as it’s a part of ME. I’m now on ski holiday – what else is new since I go every other week – and I have my ski routine. Up early going thru the Triberr posts, approving and commenting, and going through tweets and e-mail, and hopefully doing some writing too. My wife sleeps later so I have dead quiet and then I head out to do what I love most – ski!

    1. Hi Bruce, I was on a boat and internet was pretty difficult.

      Normally I stay as connected as possible so I don’t have this problem.  It’s interesting to see what happens when people unplug.

      Enjoy the slopes!  I love skiiing too.

  4. Oh yes, I know I tend to forget when certain people aren’t around in social media anymore. I know when I took a hiatus and came back, nobody remembered me. I had rebuild everything. So yeah, it happens, a lot more than it should probably, but none-the-less, we do create special connections and bonds with certain people over others. So while we may forget a few, we’ll still have those very strong connections that carry us through. 

    1. Morgan, I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one.

      It’s not great, but ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away.  I agree with the special connections and there are some folks I will NEVER forget.
      Morgan, I appreciate your comments/shares/etc and look forward to building a great relationship.

    2. Morgan, I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one.

      It’s not great, but ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away.  I agree with the special connections and there are some folks I will NEVER forget.
      Morgan, I appreciate your comments/shares/etc and look forward to building a great relationship.

  5. I tend to notice when people are gone, especially if they are people I interact with on a regular basis. To me the question is what happens when people notice that you are gone.

    Do they come looking for you? Do they send an email or a tweet?

  6. Hi Aaron…for the record, I totally noticed you were gone but, and I can’t remember how, I knew you were on vacation.  You are right though that we have inundated ourselves (willingly) with so many new connections…sometimes each new connection is better than the last…so they pile up.  And then, it is only natural that we (temporarily) forget about someone.  As I am acknowledging this, I am saddened by the harsh truth of this realization.  I’d like to say that I nurture each of my online relationships that mean something to me with equal care and tenderness but, maybe I don’t….or, maybe more correctly, maybe I can’t.  
    I do get very excited and passionate about my friends here in the online world…your post reminds me that if I want to nurture these relationships properly, I really do need to be mindful of not overloading myself with so many that I can’t connect with the relationships I’ve cultivated.
    Thank you Aaron…you are a friend, indeed!
    Welcome back ;-)

    1. Claudia, you knew because you were listening.  I told everyone who was listening and used FourSquare to check into everything.  :-)

      As for new connections, I’m not sure what to do.  It seems like musical friends sometimes.
      Not sure it’s healthy.  Not sure if we have an option.

      Claudia, you’re a great one.  One nobody should every forget.

  7. Actually, I did not forget you. Didn’t know you were on vacation, but I definitely noticed your absence. We tend to engage a few times throughout the week, and Kneale was even lamenting the Packers fate on my recent 12 Most post about football -> and you didn’t jump in.

    Hope you had a great vacation, buddy. You were missed…

  8. Hey Aaron,

    I may not have realized you were on vacation, but I definitely realized that either I had missed your post due to my oversight or hectic life or you had been “quiet” of late. But as I’ve mentioned before, even if I don’t see your link on Facebook or Google+ I have your blog bookmarked on my browser bar. So I can check in to see what’s going on.

    This is an issue I struggle with also. I have SO MANY groups, communities, and social media outlets I have chosen to participate in, yet I find myself allowing only 1 or 2 of them to dominate my time and seemingly ignoring the others.
    It’s not because I don’t find value in those venues, and it’s not because I find MORE value in the venues that I am active in (or maybe I do).

    I actually think that Facebook has installed a time dilation device so that what seems as mere minutes is actually hours. Thereby limiting the amount of time you can spend on other social media sites. LOL.

  9. Connections come and go, online and in real life. Many of us eventually stop seeing the people we spent many lunch hours with upon leaving for a new job. They were “needed” during that time and now, not so much. On social media, there’s always another person who will take the place of a missing connection.
    It’s the ones that stick with you through the years, the different jobs, the different relationships, the different stages of one’s life, that really matter. And those people amount to only a small handful of what we ultimately consider our true friends; our family.
    Enjoy your connections while you have them and realize you can’t stay connected to several thousand people anyway… 

    1. Dan, I agree that is how it works.  I just don’t know how human that is.  

      I’m not sure relationships are meant to be broken & discarded this easily.
      I’m as much of the problem as anyone, I just feel poorly about it.  Thanks for the comment Dan.

  10. Yes actually I miss a Twitter friend – she was recently murdered but she had automated tweets and didn’t put 2 and 2 together until another tweep contacted me. Now I get nervous if others are missing for a more than a day or two. (those that are on everyday) I have one close friend who if is not on FB I text or call her.

    1. Lisa, I’m so sorry to hear that.  :-(

      Many of us have built special relationships using online tools, and I should be more clear about that.  I don’t forget the special connections that I make.However, there are many good connections I forget about sometimes.  I’m not proud of it and I need to work harder at it.

      It’s good to see you taking that seriously.  Says a lot about the type of friend you are.

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