“Should I get married?” ”Should I start a business?” ”Should we have a baby?”
Just when you think you’re done with the tough decisions, they get tougher.
“Should I get divorced?” ”Should I close my business?” ”Should we pull the plug?”
Last month, a friend of mine had her pregnant sister (Emily) rushed to the hospital. Major problems. Heart stopped. Coma.
This is Emily. I am overwhelmed looking at all the posts saying you are praying for me and my family. Thank you so much. I am very blessed! I have been at home for four weeks now with around-the-clock supervision–gaining strength, and able to see this screen! :)
It feels strange to share this on facebook, but I want to give you an update so you can pray specifically if you wish…:
Two weeks ago, I had a 20-week ultrasound. The doctor told Andy and me that our baby will not live. The doctor further said that continuing the pregnancy is a huge risk to my life, so she recommended terminating the pregnancy. Our baby’s heart is still beating.
Last Thursday, we had another ultrasound which showed more fluid in the head than the previous ultrasound – not a good sign. However, the doctor seemed less urgent about ending the pregnancy at that appointment. We had my family with us to hear the details themselves and to be with us in case we had to make a decision then.
We have been praying and thinking and talking with each other and with our pastors and family and friends. Our current plan is to watch my health closely and to again have another ultrasound this week and see if baby’s health continues to go down or not.
Prayers for wisdom, patience, and peace of mind would be very much appreciated.
Emily (and Andy)
P.S. We are open to your thoughts and advice too.
Some life decisions are too difficult to make alone.
Everything we’ve learned up to this point in our lives will not be enough. When faced with the really difficult decisions in life, we can’t trust ourselves.
We are weak. We are blinded. We need more…
We need others.
If you have big plans for your life, be prepared. However, you’ll need more than education, experience, guts, or money.
You’ll need your fellow warriors by your side.
Don’t prepare yourself to make the important decisions in life. Prepare your network. They’re the ones you’ll need.
Congrats to those of you who don’t need leadership in your organization.
That’s really neat.
Organizations that don’t value leadership won’t be here in a couple years to need it. Interesting how that works…
For the rest of us, it’s time to innovate, strategize, recruit, and envision.
Nevertheless, I’m continually surprised by how many managers don’t lead, how many companies cut down their leadership ranks to save money, and how many leaders don’t bother to lead themselves higher first.
Difficult times call for stronger leaders. We need you tonight.
Disclosure: I had surgery recently and am back on prescription Vicodin after trying to get off the pain meds too quickly. I’m learning some new lessons and think they might be applicable to everyday life. Hear me out.
We can learn something from my pain.
Here is what I notice as I try to work through the pain and medication:
I forget things and I repeat myself.
I won’t say things as well as I could if I wasn’t in pain or medicated.
I use bad grammer.
I get distracted from what I’m working on.
I repeat myself after I forget I already said something.
I ramble on.
I wonder if we all make similar mistakes when coping with the pain of going through a breakup, dealing with death, losing business (or a job), or facing other severe challenges in life.
Many try medicating the pain away so they don’t feel it.
Others try ignoring it until they break.
Some try both.
Of course surgery is one thing and life is another. However, when we see a fellow warrior struggling to get back up after a painful incident, we should help. For those of us in pain, we should accept help.
We can’t afford to ignore it. We don’t have time to waste.
All of us are guaranteed pain in life.
It’s how we deal with it that determines our future. We can’t do it alone.
PS. If you’re curious how I’ve been tweeting, feel free to follow me at my @Biebert account. Unfortunately, the new new twitter won’t let me reply twice, so I’ve left some of the bad tweets. I probably should take the advice of my doctor and sleep more, tweet less. Let me know what you think.
Thanksgiving needs it’s own day because it’s a good thing that doesn’t come naturally.
It’s counter-intuitive, but the richer a country or person becomes, the less thankful they become as well. Modern psychology backs me up on this. A successful person often attributes their success to what they’ve done.
Human beings tend to take credit for good things and blame external factors for bad things. That is part of the fundamental attribution error concept.
Even Abraham Lincoln recognized this in the beginning of his original Thanksgiving Proclamation:
“The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come…”
- Thanksgiving Proclamation by Abraham Lincoln
We are forgetful.
Great leaders establish rituals that help remind people of what they ought to do and ingrain it into our culture. The Thanksgiving holiday is no exception.
Take the reminder. Shake off the cobwebs. Remember where the good things in your life came from.
Usually, 8pm Warriors that make something great during their lives can point to key situations where success happened by an inch or two. It might be the large client that changed their mind and chose you, or the time you found just enough capital to push through a slow period.
Those victories are won by an inch. Every inch, every chance mattered for success.
The same goes for failure.
One of the reasons I am so passionate about pushing my absolute limits is because everywhere I look, I see inches. I try to take every inch when I can, not knowing how far I really have to go to reach my goal.
Even so, I am worried about missing by a couple inches. It’s one of my greatest fears and cause of numerous agonizing defeats.
I’m not alone.
We all need inches and tonight is the best time to find them.
PS. One of my friends mentioned that this pep talk below really fits with this topic. I agree. Check it out.
I’ve made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who’s ever loved me, and lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror.
You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you. That’s part of life. But you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life’s this game of inches. And so is football. Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean…one half a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it. One half second too slow too fast, you don’t quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game, every minute, every second.
On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches, that’s gonna make the difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying!
I’ll tell you this – in any fight, its the guy who’s willing to die who’s gonna win that inch. And I know if I’m going to have any life anymore, it’s because I’m still willing to fight and die for that inch. Because that’s what living is!
Surprisingly, I’ve met many leaders who don’t care much about leadership. They would rather be an expert in their “primary function” such as marketing, finance, sales, or engineering. Leadership is a distraction to them.
If your role is to lead people in a particular functional division, you must be a leader first. Your passion must be your people, your team. Not the function.
When you become a leader, you must change your focus from functional expertise, to leading others towards that expertise and success. Leading your flock means more than just flapping your wings stronger, faster, or longer than before. You must set the direction.
You must lead first.
If you’re a CFO, I believe you must lead the finance people, not be the lead finance person. If you are the CMO, you must become great at leading marketing people, not being one.
Function follows leadership.
No one wants to follow a great accountant. They want to follow a great leader.
Once upon a time, employees existed to serve their bosses.
Those days are over.
If you want your team members focused on your customers, patients, students, or other team members, you need to figure out what they need, give it to them, and get out of the way. Leaders need to be user friendly.
If they have a better way, let them do it.
When they have something to teach you, learn from it.
As they need guidance, be consistent.
If they need you, be there.
They are your customers. Leadership is your product.