Thoughts from an 8pm Warrior

Disclosure:  I had surgery recently and am back on prescription Vicodin after trying to get off the pain meds too quickly.  I’m learning some new lessons and think they might be applicable to everyday life.  Hear me out.

We can learn something from my pain.

Here is what I notice as I try to work through the pain and medication:

• I forget things and I repeat myself.
• I won’t say things as well as I could if I wasn’t in pain or medicated.
• I use bad grammer.
• I get distracted from what I’m working on.
• I repeat myself after I forget I already said something.

I ramble on.

I wonder if we all make similar mistakes when coping with the pain of going through a breakup, dealing with death, losing business (or a job), or facing other severe challenges in life.

Many try medicating the pain away so they don’t feel it.

Others try ignoring it until they break.

Some try both.

Of course surgery is one thing and life is another.  However, when we see a fellow warrior struggling to get back up after a painful incident, we should help.  For those of us in pain, we should accept help.

We can’t afford to ignore it. We don’t have time to waste.

All of us are guaranteed pain in life.

It’s how we deal with it that determines our future.  We can’t do it alone.

Have a pain-free night,

Aaron@Biebert

PS. If you’re curious how I’ve been tweeting, feel free to follow me at my @Biebert account. Unfortunately, the new new twitter won’t let me reply twice, so I’ve left some of the bad tweets. I probably should take the advice of my doctor and sleep more, tweet less. Let me know what you think.

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Many leaders are finding themselves developing a new skill set.

They’ve become magicians.

Like the movie “The Prestige”, they’ve become very good at making people disappear. In some cases, they don’t even know how they’re doing it and are confused when it happens.

Even though it’s against the strict “Magicians Code”, I’m going to let you in on the secret.  Maybe you can learn something from it.

It’s really easy to make people disappear.

Just ignore them!

• Clients getting annoying? Ignore their needs.
• Talented team members monopolizing your schedule? Close your door and don’t return emails.
• Friends or family taking up too much time? Stop talking to them.
• Annoyed with pesky investors? Don’t share information with them.

It works for social media connections, mentors, and significant others too.  Almost everything will disappear eventually if you ignore it long enough.

That’s probably not something you should ignore.

Have a good night,

Aaron@Biebert

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What is the cost of winning?

I tried something new today in the car.  Instead of tweeting/texting/emailing, I thought about the things I’ve lost in pursuit of my life goal.   Maybe you can relate?

It’s actually quite startling:

• I was once the ultimate romantic, using my creativity to surprise my wife with special tokens of my love.  Now I’m an average husband and I sell my creativity to others.
• When I was a kid, I rode my bike for miles to buy my mom a birthday present. In September, I forgot her birthday.
• I have seven younger siblings.   I hardly know them anymore.
• Old friends hear from me once a year, when Facebook tells me it’s their birthday.
• Years ago I was in peak physical shape. Now I’m overweight and out of breath after playing with my kids.

Even though I have experienced the joy of victory, I lost much to get there.

What have you lost?

Why?

Despite all the talk about pushing ourselves, delegating, working harder, smarter, or longer, there remains a limit to what one can do each day.

Successful leaders must make choices. Real choices will always lead to loss. Such is the nature of scarcity.

Focus on business? Lose relationships.
Win a war? Lose lives.
Get fame? Lose privacy.

Sometimes you must lose to win.  It’s your choice.

Losers won’t choose. Winners are losers. Choosing means losing. Isn’t life complicated?

How do we win?

We win when we’re aware of what we’re losing, but our goals still matter more.  We win when we sleep soundly at night.

Chase worthy goals tonight,

Aaron@Biebert

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“Aaron Biebert took his own life this morning.”

I was writing an email on my iPhone and forgot to open the garage door before warming up my truck.  No one would have thought it was an accident. It sure makes me think.

Three thoughts on this one:

1)  Are people accidently killing themselves because they are focused on their mobile devices?

The other day I left the gas stove burner on for 7 hours.  I sometimes write emails while driving.  I’ve charged my iPad while using it in the Jacuzzi tub.  A bus almost hit me when I walked into the street without looking up from my phone.

Am I going to kill myself one of these times?

Is anyone going to believe it was an accident?

Today, the garage filled up with fumes and I got dizzy.  I opened the doors before passing out.  Next time I might not be so lucky.

2)  Don’t make the same mistake!

It’s cold out and I see so many other folks addicted to their smartphones.  I don’t want anyone to make the same mistake.

The life of an 8pm Warrior can be crazy, hectic, and consuming.  We’re like autopilot sleepwalkers sometimes:  exhausted, overwhelmed, and distracted.  We don’t need to add dead to the list.

Maybe we all need to wake up a bit.

3)  Are we telling people who we truly are?

When I told others about my brush with death, my wife and a close friend both said they would assume I killed myself.  Yes, 2010 wasn’t a great year for my business and I still ache from it, but I never thought people would make that mistake.  It makes me wonder if my personal goals I discuss here on the blog are taken seriously.  Do I sound like someone who would kill themself?  Do I seem fake or delusional?  Maybe I’m not telling people who I really am.  Are you?

I’m not sure.

All I know is if someone finds me dead, I only want them to ask:  A) Who killed him! or B) How did this accident happen?

Suicide isn’t an option.  My death won’t make anyone’s life better, but my life will. The same goes for your life.

We’ve got families that need us, talents that can help others, differences that can be made.  Some folks might believe their life will never be the same after a major failure. It might be true.  That might end up being a good thing.

If we change our focus from ourselves to the lives of others, we find a new meaning for our lives.

We might find a new legacy to leave.

For any of my fellow warriors out there who have considered suicide, I want you to personally email me at Support@8pmWarrior.com so we can talk.  I’ve been in the dumps too.  I’ve felt worthless.  I’ve wondered about my future.  I’ve discovered that life really isn’t about me at all.  It’s too risky to bet it all on yourself.  That’s why I’m now focused on the lives of others.  I invite you to join me.

My death won’t prompt candle light vigils around the world or make newspaper headlines.  However, as long as I’m living I can still make a difference to someone. Until that changes, I will never take my own life.  Never.

Neither should you.

Have an extrospective night,

Aaron@Biebert

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In the book “Where the Red Fern Grows“, a boy is able to trap racoons by putting a shiny object inside an opening that is too small to pull a paw out if it’s holding anything.

This is similar to having a cookie inside a jar with a small opening.  You can’t fit your hand through unless you leave the cookie in the jar.  In this case, the easy solution is for the raccoon to drop the object and move on.

However, despite the obvious fix, a racoon was always trapped in the hole the next day.  They give up their life holding on to something worthless.

The raccoon was too stubborn to let go.

Leaders, are you ever that raccoon?

Is that shiny object really important?  Are you willing to give up everything for it?

Times are changing.  Sometimes it’s okay to let go, to go forward.

Let go tonight,

Aaron@Biebert

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Zookeepers breed endangered species in captivity to save them from extinction.  However, something bad usually happens.

When they release them into the wild, the animals that were bred in captivity often do not avoid predators and are not able to find ample food or shelter for themselves. They die as a result.

We are breeding humans in captivity.

In an effort to protect children from the dangers of failure or setback, some have made them unfit for the wild world they’ll be living in. For years, I’ve watched parents and teachers lie to their children.

In the name of self esteem, they comfortably praise children for everything they do, even when they fail to do anything special, smart, or strong.

You tried?  Here’s a trophy or ribbon!

Unfortunately, this isn’t real life. Now that Generation Y is out in “The Wild”, they are surprised when the company they applied to doesn’t think they’re special, the words they write aren’t smart, or their strongest performance isn’t enough.  They learn that anything but first place may not be good enough.

Confused, these young people move in with their parents, go back for more school, or join the Occupy Wall Street protests.

They were bred in captivity.

If we want our children or team members to know how to hunt or protect themselves, then we must teach them how at an early age.  No longer should people be praised because they participated.  It is lazy and easy to praise everyone for everything.  Far more difficult and important, is to find the specific gifts that each person has, encourage them to use the gifts, and then support them as they fail, learn, and grow.

We must teach them to fish, not give them fish.  We must show them the real world, not hide them from it.

We must let them fail.

The school of hard knocks teaches real life lessons.  Losers will become learners. Failing may be the best thing that can happen to a young person.

Let them grow up in the wild.

Have a wild night,

Aaron@Biebert

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Are optimists crazy people in times like these?

I am an optimist.  Even as I walk through tough, dark times, I can see a bright future ahead.

It keeps me going.

Though many 8pm Warriors are walking through dark hours in their business or career, I still believe the future is bright for those who invest in their future…especially now.

On Wall Street, we said “Buy when there’s blood in the streets”.

The man who is credited with that saying, an 18th century British nobleman named Baron Rothschild, made a fortune buying stocks during the financial crisis after the Battle of Waterloo.  Many of those stocks were of his own companies.

His original quote is believed to be “Buy when there’s blood in the streets, even if the blood is your own.”

The blood in the streets is our own.

I see it every day.  Small business leaders struggling, talented folks doubting, so many wondering, “when will things get better?”

I get sad when I see those who stop before they get there, the leaders who quit on themselves, or the suicides of desperate warriors.

If you believe that you’re working towards something special, don’t give up hope. Don’t quit now.  Invest in yourself.

The future you fight for is forward.

Keep moving.

Have a bright night,

Aaron@Biebert

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This Joe Paterno and Penn State leadership child molestation cover up is sickening.

What’s even worse is that some of it could have been easily avoided. The pain and shame so many feel right now was unnecessary.

It’s clear that some leaders at Penn State covered up disturbing crimes happening on their campus. I won’t point fingers at anyone in particular, but two people are now facing criminal charges. Others are facing moral charges from thousands of people who are wondering why they didn’t do more. Say more.

Care more.

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking, not just the “legal minimum”. It means calling the cops when something like this happens, not just calling your boss.

I understand this would have been a major distraction and black eye for their successful football program at the time, but now it may be a crippling blow.

Leaders can work hard to achieve record success, but if they allow unethical behavior on their watch, it may all mean nothing. Regardless of records, legends, or stellar reputations, all leaders will fall when moral issues like this are ignored. There is more to life. There is more to success.  Leadership without honor is hollow.

Leaders must have their success and honor too.

“Success with Honor” is Penn State’s motto. Now they have neither.

Have an honorable night,

Aaron@Biebert

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