Attention: It’s Got to be All or Nothing

I only meet in person to build a stronger relationship.  There’s just one small problem.

Emails, texts, tweets, and Facebook mobile allow us to be at a meeting, meal, bar, or date with a person and still communicate with others who aren’t there.  Because these messages go with us everywhere our phone does, they are hard to ignore.  Luckily, they can be fielded discreetly and quickly.

But should we do it?

The world is rapidly changing and some questions haven’t been fully asked and answered. I think it’s time. Some younger folks don’t even understand how to build face-to-face relationships anymore.

Have we forgotten how to focus on one person at a time?  I know I do sometimes…

Some of my online relationships are just as important as my local ones, but is it possible that frequent interruptions of live conversation or “talking and texting” actually cause damage to a relationship?  Would it be better not to have the dinner at all?

Does a distracted dinner create resentment?

I think it does!

It might be hard, but we need to draw a line in our heads when we enter into a live conversation.  It’s much different than twitter or email where people can wait a few seconds for a response.   Humans aren’t geared that way and I don’t think they ever will be.

We meet in person for a reason.  These days you can just email, call, or Skype someone if you want to talk.  We meet with people to build something stronger.

So let’s do it!

For successful “in person” relationships, your attention has to be all or nothing.

Have a great night,

Aaron@Biebert
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Published by Aaron Biebert

I'm a director, film/video exec producer, leader & 8pm Warrior. I am passionately chasing my goals at all times. I'm listening. Let's talk!

20 comments on “Attention: It’s Got to be All or Nothing”

  1. This should be required reading for everyone nowadays. I totally agree, if you’re having an “in real life” relationship (even a conversation), your attention has to be on the person you are with. Not the device you’re holding in your hand.

    1. Sherree, wouldn’t that be an idea. Required reading for everyone when they buy a mobile phone or iPad. :-)

      Thanks for the comment and vote of confidence. Maybe I’ll start lobbying Congress…

  2. Nothing is more irritating than playing second fiddle to any number of devices or distractions when in the middle of IRL meetings. That’s my cue to look elsewhere for stronger, respectful business relationships…

  3. Hear! Hear!! (pun intended) I have friends who just don’t get this. But it’s made me aware of how damaging it is and I make a point if I’m with someone: eating, taking a walk, watching a video, sitting on the stoop, … I power off the cell phone and be with THAT person(s), even and especially when we’re not saying anything. “And that has made all the difference.” (Road Less Taken)

    1. Agreed, it’s actually the silent moments that make face-to-face interaction so different. It is in those moments that you can learn about a person’s spirit.

      Time to put away the cell phone.

  4. Je viens de passer une journée superbe à faire du magasinage avec un ami pour me faciliter la vie manger au restaurant je suis très contente de ma journée jusqu’à présent du moins bonne journée à vous aussi:)

  5. Aaron love it, so those things we women have commented in for years “You have not given me your full attention” is coming around to where people are starting to respect the wisdom.

  6. Il m’arrive parfois pour être certaine de donner toute mon attention à la personne, de partir sans mon téléphone. De cette manière je n’aurai aucune distraction. J’aime également me donner du temps allé dans la nature avec un livre sans mon téléphone toujours, la vie nous donne de précieux moment il faut tout simplement les prendre et les vivre à fond. La technologie est superbe nous allons sur d’autre planète mais nous détruisons la notre, alors apprenons à vivre tout simplement car la vie tout simplement est extraordinaire mais nous avons oublié

  7. I’ve had a rule when with any customer for a long time now: – when I am talking to a customer I will not acknowledge my phone, whether it rings, beeps or otherwise.
    I have told many customers: “Right now you are my most important customer; you have asked me here and are paying for my time.” Customers really appreciate this and find it quiet odd; most other suppliers probably answer their phones.

  8. Même si tu dis n’importe quoi peut être que la personne en face de toi elle ne dit pas n’importe quoi,pour avoir été en affaire pendant plusieurs années, parfois ce qui semble insignifiant peut au contraire avoir une grande signification, tout dépend de l’interprétation que tu lui donne. Le contacte, la présence, le développement, le suivit, le rapport humain est le plus important à conserver pour ma part.

  9. This is so true, and such good advice. You know, I have a rule for myself when I’m with people- no phone calls, no texts, no tweets, no facebook. I don’t have a smart phone because I don’t want to be tempted. If I’m connecting on-line, I’m focused and paying attention. If I’m connecting in person, I’m focused and paying attention. If there is a truly urgent, life or death situation requiring me to make a phone call, I’ll excuse myself, and take care of it, but otherwise, I’m with the person I’m with!

    1. Does that apply when you are on the phone? Do you give your full attention to the person on the other end of the line?

  10. Aaron this is another good blog.
    I think the best thing to do is leave
    your cell phone,ipad or what ever out
    in the car or at home if your going to have a business
    or family meting any kind of face to face
    meting. All so leave the phone # to where
    you will be to your family so like in the old
    day they can page you on the loud speakers
    or are they gone to?

    Have a great Sunday Aaron
    Bonnie Squires

  11. Je réalise que la traduction est terrible mais nous nous comprenons c’est tout de même important, je crois à ce stage. Je fais tellement de choses en même temps présentement que j’ai de la difficulté à suivre et cela est la preuve de ce dont nous parlons, j’essais G+ bon je ne comprend pas, j’essais de me partir mon blogue c’est compliqué. Bon je veux mettre youtube publique pour le mettre dans le blogue etc bon compliqué voyez-vous que je ne vous parle plus du sujet et c’est exactement ce qui arrive lorsque nous sommes débordé. Nous oublions l’être humain en face de nous, c’est avec elle que nous voulons développer quelque chose d’important, donc il est primordiale d’apprendre au dépars à décrocher peu important la situation dans laquelle nous nous trouvons. Je le répette c’est primordiale c’est peut-être notre futur client le + important à venir.

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